My Team
Just finished my fantasy draft through Yahoo sports. It's a league set up by a guy in my company. The draft was online and 15 players for each of the 14 teams were drafted in about 70 minutes.
Not bad.
Fourteen teams is probably too at least 2 teams too many.
To make matters worse, I drafted 11th out of 14.
The league gives 5 points for a passing TD and 6 for a running TD, so I felt it was important to move the QBs up the draft board a bit. Most fantasy magazines figure on 4 points for a passing TD.
Anyway, given my bad draft position, I took Donovan McNabb with my first pick. That was a mistake. Some good QBs were available later on in the draft. But at the time it seemed like a wise move because all of the sure-fire RBs were already gone.
Still, it would have been better to have taken two second-tier RBs than to take two second-to-third-tier backs like I ended up with. I'm gambling a bit with them.
Here's my team:
QB- McNabb (PHI)
RB- Julius Jones (DAL)
RB- Fred Taylor (JAX)
WR- Steve Smith (CAR)
WR- Ashley Lelie (DEN)
TE- Dallas Clark (IND)
K- Jeff Reed (PIT)
DEF- Washington
W/R- Brandon Stokely (IND)
Backups:
JJ Arrington RB, ARZ
Thomas Jones RB, CHI
Bubba Franks TE, GB
Eli Manning QB, NYG
John Kasay K, CAR
Jacksonville
The W/R position is for an extra running back or wide receiver we can play each week. I can put JJ Arrington, Thomas Jones, or Brandon Stokley in there at any time. Stokley will be my WR backup for bye weeks, and I can play the hot hand at RB as needed.
In week one Arizona is at the Giants, Chicago is at Washington, and Indianapolis is at Baltimore, so I really don't know who to play for week one.
In Their Own Words
Ted "Teen Wolf" Thompson: "It happened," general manager Ted Thompson said. "But we're not going to jump off the building or anything like that.Really, you might want to reconsider that, Ted. Here, let me help!
Bob McGinn (reporter): "...coach Mike Sherman was unable to stir one iota of execution or emotion from his players".
Shermbutt: Penalties killed them on both sides of the ball. "Put that on me," Sherman said.Don't worry bubble pants, that's just what we're planning to do.
Teen Wolf: "Tonight it looks like it's a better team out there," Thompson said, referring to the Patriots.Really? Wow, maybe you aren't completely deaf, dumb, and blind. And who's job is it to put good players on the field? Anyone ...?
Suckiest Bunch of Sucks That Ever Sucked (updated)
I know it seems impossible, but it's beginning to look like I was not pessimistic enough about this team.
Let's count the good things, because to try and catalog even 1% of the dried-up dog shit that was laid out on Lambeau Field tonight would be futile. I haven't the bandwidth.
1. Ummmm. Let's see, ...hmmm. Hmph.
2. Ok, well ...Uh.
3. Heh. *sigh*
4. KGB got one sack.
5. Nick Collins was in position on a few plays.
6. When they blitzed they actually seemed to generate something resembling pressure.
Oh, I know. There was one good thing. Joey Thomas appeared to be in position on all the plays that I saw he was involved in. I can see why he moved ahead of the diminutive dink Ahmad Carrol (thanks Shermbutt).
Everyone else sucked.
This team is on a slow boat to oblivion. They will hit rock bottom sometime this year (hopefully they hit it and don't continue sinking into next season), the only question is "when". When will the players quit on Shermbutt (or have they already)? When will Favre toss up his hands (or has he already)?
Think about it. This was the last meaningful pre-season game of the year. This is where players fight for their lives trying to make the team. Did you see any of that last night? Did you see anyone out there playing like their NFL dream was on the line?
No, you didn't see that. And that's very odd. Very disturbing.
Even Bill Maas, who carries 3 shades of pig-lipstick with him to every broadcast, said the last two performances were "alarming" and cause for serious concern.
The players aren't responding, no one is buying into it. In fact, they appear to be "losing" players (mentally, that is) every game. As Maas pointed out repeatedly, the Packers were getting destroyed by the basics. They failed to execute very simple basic techniques.
The special teams play, the penalties, the rash of missed assignments, the turnovers ...these are things that really awful organizations do. This is the Cleveland Browns or the Bengals, not the Packers. This is a team that is not ready to play, not motivated to play, and do not have their head in the game ...in the PRE-SEASON!
They are collapsing even before the regular season starts! Even bad teams go into the season with hope and energy, only to see it crushed in weeks 1-5 (see Lions, Detroit). We will be going into the season with more questions than when the pre-season started.
Consider this, ...we've gotten worse. Each. Week. Of the PRE-SEASON!
You could ask, "How did it get to this point?"
Or you could just read the last 3 years of Packer posts on this website.
This has been coming for a long time. It was avoidable.
I Killed a Mouse Today
Earlier this year I noticed a few tiny mouse droppings in my garage, but I thought nothing of it. We live near a big park and a long parkway, so I figured there's lots of rodents and animals running around. It stands to reason that something will seek shelter from the cold winter in my garage. No problem.
This spring I noticed that the mouse had been chewing on some plastic packaging for an outdoor extension cord I stored in the garage. Then, later this summer I noticed a small burrow hole in the rotted base of my side garage door and another small hole under my sunroom. I filled in the hole under my sunroom with dirt only to see it appear again a day later.
About a week ago I came home late one night after a ball game and surprised the mouse. When the garage door opened, my headlights caught him running along the edge of the garage wall. He was fat and about the size of a baseball.
And I knew then that I would finally have to do something about it.
So, yesterday I went to Farm and Fleet figuring they would have the largest assortment of varmint killing apparatuses in town. My choices were thus:
A cardboard “live trap” with stickypaper on the inside floor and walls. The mouse goes in and get’s stuck. You don’t have to kill it, just throw the box away with the mouse stuck to the inside. $1.48 for two carboard box traps.
A wire live cage/trap. This is for catching the varmint live, assuming you are going to transport the varmint elsewhere and release it. You can also place stickypaper on the inside. $13. Stickypaper was $3.48 for 2 sheets.
D-Con poison packets or pellets, poison bars, poison sticks. Rodents die within 5 days. About $5.
Electronic traps that electrocute the varmint once it gets inside the trap. One version for $19.95, another for $42.95.
A box trap that traps more than one mouse at a time. They get in, but can’t get out. $15.
Spring traps that crush the mouse in its jaws. $3-$7.
I knew I didn’t want to use poison because I have a dog and I didn’t want the dog to get into it. I also didn’t want the poisoned rodent to die where the dog could devour it. I also didn't want to have to deal with the mess of a smashed rodent.
So, I settled on the wire cage/trap $13, using some poison as bait $3.99.
I figured I’d just submerge the trap in a bucket of water and drown the captured rodent. It's cleaner than the spring traps, and safer and quicker than poison.
So, yesterday evening after work I set up my killing machine.
As I looked for a place to stage my trap, I came face-to-snout with the enemy, a little baby mouse with black beady eyes, big ears, and pointy nose. The thing was tiny and as cute as can be.
It was terrified of me, and sniffed the air in my direction rapidly. I don’t think it knew what I was. He eventually ran off and I set my trap right where I’d spotted him.
This morning he was there in the trap, still terrified. All the poison bait was gone. He tried to run when I approached the trap, but he had nowhere to go, so he ducked his little head under the “flapper” that triggers the cage doors to close. I thought to myself, "Awwwww, just like a dog!"
Apprehensively, I filled up the bucket, picked up the trap, and dropped it in. The trap wanted to float for a moment, but I pushed down gently, and it slid to the bottom, thowing the mouse into a panic.
He struggled mightily, trying to dig his way out of the corners of the cage. He was in a complete frenzy. I felt ghoulish watching over the bucket, so I left him and returned a few minutes later to a silent scene.
I dumped the water, opened the trap, and slid his lifeless, waterlogged body into a plastic bag.
I’m not filled with guilt, but I certainly didn’t like having to kill the mouse that way. But there is no point in relocating them, they are pests and could carry disease. They need to be put down in some fashion. Dying of poison over five days is probably no better.
I tossed plastic bag containing his body into a dumpster at the gas station on the way to work. Let’s hope he has a small family, I don't want to have to do this a dozen times.
Shermbutt and Two Pre-Season Games
First, the coach's contract was not a ringing endorsement, but it was not a slap in the face either. Teen Wolf is punting, opting to make his final decision at a later date.
Favre is still here for a few more years and Teen Wolf isn't expecting the Packers to be good for a few years anyway, so why not kick everything down the road a bit?
I agree with the decision to re-up on Shermbutt for a few years because Teen Wolf has no intention of making a run at the title in the near future anyway.
.
.
As evidenced by the poor performance in the first two pre-season games, the Packers are in a very fragile condition.
Yes, they still have their receivers, their TE, their running backs, and their QB (who is looking sharp as ever), …but that's all they have.
The young defensive tackles they touted all off-season are MIA on the field. The corners still can't cover anyone or tackle anyone. And the offensive line seems to be having a contest to see who can miss the most assignments.
Aaron Rodgers is performing like Tim Couch circa 2004 which is a lot like saying that he's a worthless bum who doesn't belong on the field in any capacity. I'm not one to exaggerate my abilities, but I’m confident that I could play quarterback as well as Aaron Rodgers did last week. I can get sacked, throw interceptions, under-throw receivers and prance around like a coward too confused and frightened to throw the ball to anyone who isn't 3 yards away and also a running back.
Shermbutt said repeatedly last week that the game against Buffalo was about finding their starters. This was about people stepping up and winning a position on the team.
It didn't happen.
Some may have "won" a spot on the team by sucking less than the sucktards who sucked their way off the team, but that's about it.
We’re going to go into this season effectively "platooning" people at key positions like defensive tackle, cornerback, safety, and guard.
Not a recipe for success, to say the least.
Packers Cave
At least it looks that way, as
Bubba Franks signed a deal worth a reported $4 mil a year, which was exactly what he was seeking.
That means Teen Wolf finally woke up.
He could have saved the Packers some money by getting Franks signed earlier for less than he was asking and more than they were offering, but he decided to stare down Franks.
This plan backfired when the resident Packer TE's stunk it up in camp and on the pre-season playing field. Teen Wolf had no other choice.
I'm glad Frank's is back, now if he could just learn to break tackles ...
Pretty Hot at First
Not sure how I feel about 30 seconds in, though.
I just wouldn't be doing my job as internet perv if I didn't
link to it.
From
Hedonistica
Neighbors Part II
Ok, so I'm just a big jerk.
I guess we already knew that.
My neighbor and her girlfriend were out in their side patio the other night, so I took the World's Naughtiest Dog (WND) over there to return the tupperware dish I assumed was theirs.
Also, I wanted to make sure they didn't think I had wrecked some of their property.
See, the other day I looked outside and the WND was chewing on a big colorful thing. I thought it was a potato chip bag or something, so I ran out there and took it away from her. It was a Rainbow pennant from the neighbor's yard. She has several similar flags hanging around the yard. It was a rather windy afternoon, so I assumed it had simply blown over.
Fortunately the WND had not chewed a hole in it yet, so I went to their door to return it. They were gone (all weekend it turns out). So, I tied it to their side garage door so they would see it when they got home.
Anyway, as I walked over to greet them, the WND took off and rushed them. This would normally not be a problem, but it turns out that they have a cat and the cat was outside.
The WND amazingly did not attack the cat, but did scare the beejezuz out of it. Fortunately, it did not run. They let the cat back into the house and we all chatted. First, I apologized for scaring the cat, I wouldn't have brought WND over there if I had known.
I gave them their dish and they admitted it was theirs. The neighbor said, "Yeah, was WND outside ALL DAY one day when you were gone?" Implying that we had forgotten about the dog and left her to suffer in the hot sun.
"No. She was just out for a few hours in the afternoon and we were home." I replied. The WND was out from about 4:30 to 7:30 and in the shade the whole time. She was not dying of thirst, but maybe they thought she had been left out all day, so I chose not to be upset by it. Maybe they were just trying to help.
I also realised that when the neighbor's girlfriend said she wanted to "brush her", she was talking about her own cat and not my dog. I overreacted. Also, the girlfriend spoke with me in a very friendly manner and actually smiled.
So, I thanked them for the water and returned home.
All is well, I'm a big jerk, and I just realized that I need to buy a snowblower soon before the prices go up for winter.
This is just plain old cool
Croc blood may save us all.
I have this neighbor
She’s very nice and we’ve talked many times. I like her. She’s a principal or vice-principal at an elementary school and has a beautiful yard and really loves the World’s Naughtiest Dog (WND).
I recently learned that she’s a lesbian.
The funny thing is that I somehow didn’t pick up on it earlier, …all the rainbow pennants and banners in her yard, her love of big dogs, her Ford Escort wagon. I didn’t figure it out until her girlfriend started spending a lot of time at the house. If you google the words "typical male stereotype of a lesbian", I’m sure the girlfriend's picture shows up.
She’s not very friendly and has never said Hi to any of us. She’s younger than my neighbor. She’s definitely more radicalized, and a serious outcast. I’m sure her teen years were a nightmare, she bares all the scars of alienation and introspection.
I can tell from her glaring eyes that she probably feels that everyone in the neighborhood hates her for her orientation, when in fact nobody cares. Especially me. I could care less what they do or what they believe or what they are. My neighbor is really nice and I couldn’t really ask for a better neighbor. I’d send my kid to her school without hesitation.
Well, the family went to the state fair on Sunday. It was hot and 90 degrees outside. When we came home in the afternoon we let the WND out for a few hours.
When I went to retrieve her, there was a foreign water dish in our yard. Someone had given her water.
This pissed me off because it is implying that we’re bad dog owners.
The next day I came home after work and the neighbor and her friend were in their backyard. I overheard the girlfriend say to my neighbor, "Yeah, well I want to brush her today." Of course, she said it with a frown. Everything is said with a frown from her.
She turned and saw me as she said this, and I’m thinking,
Now this bitch thinks she can come over here and groom my dog? The fucking cunt! How long before she kidnaps the WND and forces me to start busting KD Lang CDs on her buzzcut?So far they’ve stayed away from my yard.
And here’s a brilliant idea, …GET YOUR OWN FUCKING DOG!
One of my things …
I don’t like being told what to do or what I can or cannot do. That’s one of the reasons why home ownership has always appealed to me. I can do what I want with my house, it’s mine. My property.
I moved in last year the week before our presidential election. As I was loading some things into my new house with my sister and her family, a typical aging baby-boomer hippie came by. His North Face jacket adorned with pointless buttons, his long, wavy white hair flowing out of his well worn painters cap, the pockets in his baggy 1980’s vintage tan khakis bulging with stickers and buttons, and in his grubby little hands, a clipboard.
I saw him coming down the block with two kids who were obviously under the voting age. These fresh faced, brainwashed idiots really believed they were making a difference, they really believed they were serving a higher cause by going door-to-door reading words off a bulleted list without understanding them. Their faces were smugly alight with the superiority complex that surrounds the notion of liberalism.
So, the aging hippie steps onto my property and starts talking to my sister in a tone of voice intent on sounding earnest and engaging, but had obviously been repeated so many times that the words had long ago lost any meaning. My sister was about to politely decline to discuss anything with him, but I had to butt in.
"No no no," I said loudly from a distance as I quickly approached him, begging for an argument. "Get the hell out! We don’t want any of that."
He started to try and speak to me, but I continued.
"This is my house and I want you to get the hell off my property, now!"
He said "ok" in a very nice, almost apologetic tone and continued on down the street.
Man, I have been thinking the SAME thing ...
as was written in
this article.
The feebs who see video games as some tool of the devil that turns kids into murderers and sex-crazed wildabeasts are the ideological and intellectual ancestors of the fuddy-duddys that railed against Rock n' Roll in the 50's.
It's no suprise that Hilary Clinton and Joe Biden (two likely Democratic candidates for President) are out in front of this mob with a megaphone and a torch.
Scrimmage Suckage
My thoughts on the scrimmage:
Aaron Rodgers looks like Joey Harrington. Not a bust, but not a long-term solution.
The Packers defense looks EXACTLY like it did last year. It's amazing how nothing changed at all. They were weak in every aspect of defensive football. Every single one. I wouldn't blame Jim Bates if he said "Screw you fucktards" and left.
If dipshit Teen Wolf Thompson saw what I saw, he would have shown up at Bubba Frank's house with a gym bag full of money first thing this morning.
Last week Teen Wolf said that he didn't go after any of the proven, affordable, talented defensive free agents available this year because he feels free agents are "risky". I guess that means he feels unproven draft picks are a "sure thing". I hope he's happy with what he saw last night, because he's going to see a lot of it this year.
