Which One Are You? (Men only)
Based on the weapons in the Medal of Honor series, and explanation of divergent strategies regarding the opposite sex.Manning the Mortar
Some guys are clueless. They don't know how to meet women, where to meet women, or why they are unsuccessful. These are the guys manning the mortar positions, blindly firing into the field of combat from a safe distance. They never hit anything, and have no idea if they are getting closer of farther off target. These are the guys fishing text-only online personals ads, calling party lines, and stalking friends and co-workers for a blind date. (For friends of the frogurt, think Atagi Peterson)
The Sergeant
Other guys do have a clue, but are too timid to do anything about it. They can find their way to the front, give good advice and encouragement to their peers, but are still unable to do much for themselves. We'll call them the sergeants based on the character from Band of Brothers who "ran for help" when the mortars came crashing down on the unit in the snow-coated forest. This is also the guy in MOH that constantly volunteers you to "take the point".
The Commandos
Then we have the commandos. These are the guys with SAR or Thompsons. They can be dropped into any situation and fight their way to victory, bravely facing the enemy and attacking the problem head-on. This is the ideal soldier. We all know a guy like this and envy his confidence and thick skin, if not his seemingly high success rate. This guy is identified by his absence from the group. He's too busy dating to drink and talk sports every week.
The Sniper
Patiently biding his time, the sniper never steps into a situation without a plan. He stakes out a position, finds a target, and awaits the perfect moment. This guy is often mistaken for the sergeant or the Mortar operator (because he's often seen with them), but every now and then he hits the mark and has a brief shining moment of success.
Manning the MG42
This guy sprays the battlefield with bullets hoping to hit something. He's distinuished from the Mortar operator in that he makes many attempts and often hits a target. The quality of the target, however, is usually poor. He just keeps firing, in all directions, until something falls. Then he moves in. He is an eternal optimist, and most men will laugh at him while half admiring his determination. (Friends of the frogurt can think of the Z-man)
Truth be told, we play each of these roles at different stages in our lives. I can honestly say that I've spent a good amount of time in each of these roles, but more often than not, ...I'm a Sniper.
(Editors note: This seemed a lot more interesting in my head than it does in print.)
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