Homeward
As you can see, things are going much better. This shot was taken Saturday morning. After being drastically undersized, the baby has almost caught up to the normal size for it's age. After too much blood obscuring the ultrasound, this new one is clear. As for the fiance's symptoms, ...they are gone. Replaced by morning sickness and a craving for sour-tasting/viniger type foods.
She was even able to spend Saturday-Sunday night with me at her apartment.
She's back in the hospital now, and will be there for a few more days, but things look drastically better than they did when I arrived 18 days ago for a 7 day visit.
Last night we said goodbye from her hospital room at 9pm when the nurses start to kick out the expectant fathers from the maternity ward. It felt different from the first time we said goodbye. Just a few weeks ago we said goodbye from the Mitchell International drop-off zone, not knowing that at that moment she was already becomming pregnant. I missed her immediately, but it was nothing like what I feel now, ...guilt-ridden, needy, and needed.
As I left she told me not to go, that she needed me. I knew she only meant to tell me how much she loves me and how much she will miss me, she didn't intend for me to change my plans again. I told her I felt the same way, and that I will think about her every minute until I return. She didn't say anything else, she just let me talk. We kissed one last time and I walked toward her hospital room door. I turned to wave and she was standing now instead of sitting, looking at me and trying to look away to hide the tears she was fighting. We both managed to smile and wave, and I slipped out the door, out onto the street.
I fought back the tears for the first block and regained my composure. I shuffled on to the station, the train, the walk home, ...all the time thinking about what the next two months will be like while I am in Milwaukee and she is struggling on her own over here.
Two months can feel like two weeks, but I suspect they can also feel like two years. Let's hope it feels more like two days. Even then, we won't be together to stay, I'll still be returning home alone. But this next trip is when I will slip a ring on her finger, sign a document, and make us officially inseperable.
The three of us.
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