Descision '06
Today I looked at the forecast for next week and had one of those moments where a small switch trips in the back of your brain and suddenly your color reception flips to black and white.It happened as I stared down the seven cloudy day icons displayed in a prison line-up, each charged with warm-to-mild weather, rain, ice, and absence of sun.
And my mind re-remembered that there are many sunkissed cities where winter lasts fewer than five-and-a-half months.
And then I remembered the 17 consecutive days without sun we experienced in January.
Seventeen days with dark, oppressive mornings and dim afternoons. On the lucky 13th day I started to feel a few pangs of rot in my chest. That heavy, sinking weight that spreads to the back of your head. Depression.
And my mind said, "I no longer want to see winter."
Immediately, in self-defense, my mind starting rebuilding the foundation. Winter is a mental obstacle, not a physical one. Admitting defeat is a sure-fire prescription for exponential misery.
And that's where I’m at now.
I acknowledge the thought, but have to put it out of my mind for now.
I've got a garage to repair, a basement to finish, a job to worry about, a car that needs a new transmission, a dog that needs a bath, and a gaping hole in my heart where a gaming computer used to be.
So, what changes?
Well, instead of thinking, "someday I might again live in a sunny place", I will think, "I will move. It's just a matter of time."
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