Things That Suck and Why
What sucks? This stuff does:
Dora the Explorer: This insipid, 2-dimensional, spiritless, soulless, politically correct nightmare is bafflingly popular. This stiflingly bland show was designed to look like a crappy video game in a depressingly successful attempt to make it easier to sell crappy Dora video games. This ridiculous pile of crap is promoted as "interactive" because Dora, the pea-brained latina explorer the show is based on, is constantly asking her audience to do this or that, or find this or that on the screen. A giant mouse pointer then floats across the screen and clicks the object she was looking for. Brilliant, huh? I don't know what's more annoying, when someone on the show is flapping their vapid gums or the lengthy awkward silences that Nickelodeon forces on you. You see, Dora asks her audience questions, like "What is your name?" She then stares at the screen for what seems like 7 minutes while waiting for an answer. Whenever I have the misfortune of seeing this brain-killing, ass-suckery, I either want to shoot myself or shoot the TV.
Bless the internet, ...at least we know exactly who to blame, the creators can be found here.
Reading this interview makes Dora's suckiness a lot more understandable.
The Minnesota Vikings: Rarely do you run across a cornucopia of shittiness like the Minnesota Vikings. Whether it is the past (4 Super Bowl losses, wrong way Marshall, the Hershel Walker trade), the present or recent past (Randy Moss trying to run over a traffic cop, Chris Carter's on-the-field tantrums), or the future (will they even have a team in a few years), ...there is always something to loathe, mock, or derisively laugh at. And that's not even talking about the fans. What a bunch of inbred, face-painting, goldilocks wearing losers. From the fan who set a torch to a Packer fan a few years back, to the radio station that played a fake news report about Brett Favre drug use, or the fans who try to blind opposing QBs with laser pointers, or the fact that stadium operators have been caught cheating when comes to time keeping, or the fact that they pipe in really loud fan noises so the opposing team can't run their plays ...these yahoos deserve one another. Now, I personally know two Vikings fans who do not fall into this category, ...but I'm convinced that's because they are based here in Wisconsin.
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