Last year
I like repetition. It helps me think. For this reason I tend to listen to the same CD over and over until I'm sick of it, then I put it down for awhile and do it again a few months later.Recently I repeated this process with the Pedro the Lion CD that I stole from you. Remember?
We were on our way to Iowa City last April 4. I asked you to put in something mello, but catchy and profound. Out came "It's hard to find a friend" by Pedro the Lion. I remember at first listen I liked it, but thought it was a little slow. The second listen (on April 5th as we started our ride home) I really started to enjoy it. Especially the 3rd song, which I repeated a few times because you were sleeping already. I decided that I would rather have you awake, so I put in some more rockin' music later on, but I never gave back the CD.
Remember carrying all that drum equipment into the hotel room at like 3am, then carrying it back out at 6:30? We stopped and got gas just before re-entering the freeway, the same gas station where Dan freaked out on our return trip to IC. He and A wanted to kill one another. Dan had past the point of inebriation about 6 beers prior and was insisting on driving 8 hours home in the dead, dark Iowa night. He didn't want to drive with A and was belligerent about it, but I convinced them to just stick it out. A drove, Dan passed out, and we all survived. My stomach was turning over because of the confrontation, the late night, the stress (trying to absorb everyone's anger so none of the car's end up in a ditch), ...ugh. If you ever go on tour again, watch them closely. I can picture Dan's car in a ditch in the middle of nowhere, blood everywhere, and them screaming at each other as to who's fault it is.
Anyway, ...the other day I was about to take a shower and I needed a CD to listen to. I stumbled across the Pedro CD and put it in. I hadn't really listened to the lyrics in awhile, ...they are more than profound. They were prophetic. If I had known how prophetic they would be for me as I listened to it for the first time almost 1 year ago, ...well, I don't know what I would have thought about it. Good and bad. Bad always follows good.
One year ago I was with T in the middle of the emotional woodchipper that was 4/02 (the maelstrom which will become "Explain it again to me"), ...you were going through a similar frustration, ...so I kinda had to go it alone. I'd never felt like I needed support at any time in my life. In fact, I have relished the opportunity to be alone against the world. But I really needed you then. It would have been too selfish of me burden you with my problems while you struggled with your own, ...so we kinda drifted.
So much has changed. It changed so slowly that it almost seems sudden.
I wish I could re-do the last 12 months. On second thought, I don't.
Yes I do.
<< Home