The Bat and the Sausage
As many of you already know, last night Pittsburgh Pirates first baseman Randall Simon clubbed a Milwaukee Brewers mascot in the back of the head with a bat. It's a national new story, believe it or not.You can see video of the act some are calling an assault here.
In the 7th inning of each game, the Brewers run a extremely popular and highly entertaining faux-race pitting costumed sausages against one another. The hot dog, bratwurst, Itallian sausage, and Polish sausage all race from the left field bullpen around the edge of the field to a finish line near first base. Yeah, we likes our sauage here in Wisconsin, ...and our beer and cheese and fish fry and sports teams. This race is often the highlight of the baseball game, even when the Brewers win. The sauage costumes are 7 feet tall, and Simon hit the mascot about 2 feet higher than the head of the person inside would have been.
When he hit the sausage, the young lady "Mandy" fell over. As related by another one of the sauages from the JSonline story:
"He didn't hit her on the head," Borghoff said, referring to Mandy. "He just hit the costume and she fell over. These things are so top-heavy that it doesn't take much."
Naturally, fans are pissed. You don't club an Itallian sausage from behind in this town and get away with it. Simon was led away from Miller Park in handcuffs.
Forgive me, but mascots aren't fans. If Simon had clubbed a fan, that would be a different story. But mascots are kinda "in play" for this sort thing, aren't they? We all laughed in Bull Durham when Tim Robbins threw a fastball and hit the Durham Bull in the head, right?
I think he should get a hefty fine from MLB and a suspension. Leave it out of the courts. The young lady inside the costume had some scrapes on her knee from the fall, but is otherwise ok.
Nonetheless, Simon is an idiot. He's being roasted on ESPN.com:
How was Simon not ejected immediately? (Later inserted to pinch hit! Hadn't he used his at-bat?) ... Why the sausage? (Because she was leading the race? Did he have a bet on another meat contender?)
Also, ESPN.com is running a poll, Who would you want to have you back in a street fight? Possible answers are The Itallian sauage, the Polish, the Bratwurst, or the Hot Dog. As of this posting, Itallian is up with 42.5% of the vote.
More to follow, I'm sure ...
UPDATE
No charges against Simon. National sentiment is that it was harmless, not intentional, and thus, will likely blow over soon.
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