Commence Pants Peeing
If you ever go back to 1987 and find a dork who looks like he is internally narrating his own life, wearing a black wool jacket that reeks of Polo, and sporting a yellow smileyface button with a glob of red paint on it, please don't show him
this picture unless you want to see this sad creature pee on himself in excitement.
Furthermore, don't tell him date the picture was taken. Knowing he would have to wait 20 years to see this might be enough to push him off the edge, if you know what I mean.
So, What About the Moss for Rodgers Rumors?
On the surface, it would appear that bringing Randy Moss to Green Bay is the
Batmobile of bad ideas.
At first glance you might think that bringing in a
lazy,
pot smoking,
locker room cancer and
all-around douchebag who has
personally and directly insulted your fans is about as good an idea as letting
Marquand Manuel drop coverage for another 16 games (but his pirouettes are nice).
I guess the theory goes that past history will absolutely NEVER EVER repeat itself. So what - if Moss has been a destructive force on two different teams? So what- if we've seen other loudmouth players like TO create a circus at three different franchises? Since history NEVER repeats itself, there's absolutely no reason to fear that it will happen here. Right?
I mean, our team is young and seems to be stocked with high character individuals, ...why would we want to protect that? It's not like there's any chance that Moss will be a bad influence on anyone. So what - if he acts like an unrepentant petulant
shitstain and still gets millions of dollars, lots of attention, and many second chances? That's the type of example our young players SHOULD be seeing, right?
Furthermore, we all know how well Moss runs routes. Just remember all those highlight clips of him going over the middle or finding precise cracks in zone coverage or diving into traffic on a quick slant. Yeah, he's a super fit for our team.
So, there's no reason to go after other free agents like Joe Horn (who has experience with our head coach), or Drew
Bennet (a good 3rd receiver), or
Donte Stallworth (experienced in the system).
Nope, those are all dead-ends. It's Moss all the way baby.
Why do I have this sick feeling in my
stomach?
We've got some catching up to do
Family - fine
Me - fine
In a couple of weeks I'll be headed to California for our yearly corporate get-together. Each year they treat us all to some fun event, ...two years ago we went to a huge arcade with fancy, team-based games, last year we had casino night, and this year we'll be going
here for the night. Working for a west coast company certainly has its benefits.
I just got done shoveling
in the rain. In all my years on
Hoth I have never seen the sidewalks transformed into
creekbeds lined with tall walls of
snush (snow+slush). It was like I was shoveling mud out of a running river.
After dredging the
creekbeds, I went to the alley behind my garage and found one big sheet of slush cake with snow icing on top and running stream of water underneath. After removing some of it, I realized that the slush was slowing down the water as it ran down the alley to sewers. Each time I cleared a small channel, water rushed through it. I could see what would happen if I left any obstruction in the alley, ...the water would slow, gel, and eventually freeze right in front of my garage door. And as every dad knows, the crippling fear of your child sliding out in front of a speeding steam roller is enough to make you stand in 4 inches of slush and water while heaving shovels full of back-breaking slush until the alley was dry enough for a beach party. Well, I might be
exaggerating a little.
