Update from SD
The flight to San Diego, as always, was uneventful and quick. I've never really had a bad flight. I've experienced major turbulance in a tiny turbo-prop plane, but for some reason it didn't frighten me at all. I was kind of fun!
For me, travel problems always occur
before and
after the actual flight.
As you know, the family left 7 days before I did, leaving me to patter around the house alone. I planned my week to avoid long lengths of time where I would be sitting in the dark, moping, and drinking. This plan called for me to accomplish a large number of chores on Friday and Saturday, leaving Sunday wide open for packing, cleaning, dog washing, and some last minute shopping.
Unfortunately, I started to feel the effects of sleep deprivation over the weekend and spent most of Friday and Saturday shoveling and sleeping and otherwise feeling sluggish. I figured out on Sunday morning that I was coming down with something.
But, no rest for me, I had things to do. So, off to the shower I went.
ICE COLD
For some time the wife had been complaning that the water heater was acting up, but I never experienced it myself. I thought we just had an old unit that ran out of water easily.
Well, it turns out that my water heater problems were three-fold: it was filled with sediment, we had been running on one heating element (instead of two), and the upper heating element (the only one that was working) was now burned out.
It took me about 4 hours and two trips to the hardware store to figure all this out.
In order to change the heating element, we had to drain the tank, which was impossible from all the sediment. After many tries, I gave up. I would have to siphon the water out with a hose from the top. This would take hours and hours and hours. But how would I get the sediment out?
I can't. Got to get a new water heater.
So, my dad offered to help me pick one up Monday morning (flight was leaving at 4pm Monday afternoon). Then, we would start siphoning the water, and he'd screw in the pipes and hook up the wires while I was gone.
So, this killed my whole plan. Everything fell behind schedule and I was left scrambling until the last minute, but I made it to the airport on time and in 4 hours I was breathing in the sweet, warm, seaside air.
The week out here went well enough. Met my new boss. We don't really get along. Opposite ends of the battery, I guess. I think we understand each other, which should be enough.
Notes:
I had forgotten how many "porn-quality" women there were out here. One trip to Starbucks in the morning and I saw more perfect 10s than I would see in a month in Milwaukee.
We had bad weather out here this week, which is the ultimate relative statement. When you come from
Hoth Wisconsin, every day in San Diego is a good weather day.
One of our top testers is leaving the company next week, so this trip gave me a chance to say goodbye in person. He asked if I would ever consider moving back to SD. He said he would keep me in mind if his new employer ever hired a new writer, ...IF I would consider moving back. He also suggested I would make a good QA engineer, which is what I've been taking classes for this past year. It was nice to hear that from someone I have a lot of respect for. I told him I would consider moving back, but that's just wishful thinking. I think there's no way I could do it now.
The plane trip to Japan tomorrow is about 12-13 hours. I always pick up a new video game to help pass the time on the plane. I got the Star Wars RPG
Knights of the Old Republic. This game takes places a few thousand years before the first Star Wars movies when the Sith and the Jedi did regular battle. You can choose your path to destiny, the dark side or the side of the Jedi. You learn a lot of geeky Star Wars things that aren't in any of the movies, ...for example, it's against the Wookie culture to brush their teeth or groom themselves in any way.
I'll write more on the plane, and try to post some pics from Japan.
I should say, I'll
try to write and post.
Huzzah!
I've had a secret wish since about the 14th week of the football season, ...
Jim Bates gets hired as the new Packers defensive coordinator. For some reason, the Dolphins were on the tube a lot towards the end of the year and I got to see them play.
The defense always played well, ...and they beat the Patriots. The players loved him, respected him, and listened to him.
He's a guy who's been coaching at all levels for a long, long time. He's been a head coach, a position coach, a coordinator, and most recently, interim head coach. We're lucky to have him.
The chances of Favre returning have just increased.
Adjustments
Tuesday morning we all woke at 5am, packed the car in the frigid, windy, black morning, and joined the commuter stream south on 94. My wife and daughter were leaving twelve days ahead of me to visit my in-laws in Japan.
For weeks, I had been dreading this day. My eyes would well up when I thought about it.
I was convinced (still am) that my daughter will forget me. When I see her again, I know she will cry. I'll be a stranger. All we've been through, all the moments we shared, ...they were just for my benefit. She will never remember them. And she won't remember me after twelve days away.
For weeks this knowledge has killed me. I felt that I would cease to be father for the twelve days that I was not there. I imagined how it would sting when the thing I loved most in this world would not know me. Knowing this, it would hurt to say goodbye.
I instructed my wife to not spend a lot of time saying goodbye to me at the airport. I told her to make it quick and leave right away. Otherwise, it would be too difficult and I would never keep it together.
At the airport everything went as planned, though I did not cry. I partitioned the sadness, focused on the day ahead, and soldiered on.
Day one was not bad until I returned home that evening. Normally I make the long walk from the garage to the house with a sense of comfort. The kitchen lights are on, dinner is already being cooked, the house is warm and alive and 5 million miles away from my cubicle and desktop of stress. But that night the house was completely dark and silent. A cold void to match the night. Dormant.
And I realized that this is exactly how I finished nearly every day of my life as a single adult. And I knew I could never handle being single again. Well, perhaps I could, ...but never would I want to. I also realised that I missed my wife more than I could have (or did) imagine. It's not much of a life without her.
Atheletes talk about "taking it day-by-day", and that usually just sounds like boilerplate schtick, ..but it works. When you need to navigate a difficult time, don't focus on the big picture or the big questions or the big known problems. Just do your job, think smaller, complete your tasks and move along.
It is day three and I am nearly fret free. Nearly ...
See, ...it's 2am and for the third night in a row I'm hesitant to go to bed. I'm tired, I need to get up early for work, and I have no real reason to stay up. It's peculiar, but something is causing me to avoid going to bed.
I've toyed with lot's of interesting psychological theories about this, ...but I'm not interesting enough for those. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I am convinced that the truth is this.
I'm a serious creature of habit, almost to the point of compulsion. A routine is a comfort zone. It keeps me sane-ish, ...so I am devout in my rituals. Friends know that I have tendancy to repeat the same thing over and over again. I will listen to the same CD 10-15 times in row night after night. I will watch the same show, in the same place, at the same time night after night after night. With the wife gone, I cannot follow the same routine. If I tried, it would be like listening to a song you know over and over, but one note in the song is continuously off.
I miss her, and I miss my life as it was three days ago and should always be.
But in three-and-a-half more days I'll be on a plane to San Diego, staying at a resort for a week while we waste a lot of time on the company dime, ..then it's off to Japan where I dine at Iron Chef Hiroyuki Sakai's restaurant, visit the Sony HQ and play all their new video games before they are released, ...and of course, see my wife and daughter again.
I've avoided it long enough, ...off to bed.
Green Bay Negatives
The Packer world not-so-much cheered the arrival of Ted Thompson as GM, as they did giggle and burst with glee at Shermbutt's demotion.
Big Ted hasn't really been an ace with his picks in Seattle, but he's been better than Shermbutt. Big Ted has had quite a few misses, but football deity Ron Wolf had his lowpoints as well (remember Tyrone "We don't pay him to tackle" Buckley, Jon Michaels, the dismissal of Craig Hentrich).
But I think I have to be fair and let a little more rain fall on the crestfallen Packer-backers (of which I am one), ...the only reason he looks so good is because Shermbutt was so bad. He has one standout player, one other starter, and a handful of contributors to show for his 4 drafts.
Other negatives: Ted Thompson wants to find Favre's replacement. I think he should focus on finding a defense, because without one, Favre is irrelevent. Also, I think Favre is less likely to return unless significant changes take place on the other side of the ball.
Finally: In today's press conference Shermbutt would not committ to firing any of his staff. Everyone expects it to happen, but no one knows if it will. I would have liked him to at least vaguely refer to imminent "changes", but time will tell.
For You Lucky Dog Owners
Jon Katz has a nice
article in Slate about the empty promises of the dog training industry.
His thesis is that no single training method could possibly succeed in every instance. He lists a lot of sensible reasons and anecdotes supporting this, and I agree.
Dog training depends on the owner, the dog, the atmosphere, and what the owner wants the dog trained for.
As for me and my dog, WND (World's Naughtiest Dog), I initially wanted her to be able to communicate with people in a way they would understand. For example, if she wanted to go outside, I wanted her to walk over and sit in front of the door patiently. Never happened.
I wanted her to be unobtrusive, quiet, and calm. I wanted her to adapt to my life, to fit in like a helpful, trusting pal. A K-9 R2D2, if you will.
None of that ever happened.
Yes, she will listen to me, she will do what I tell her, and does understand and mostly submit to my routine. She also does not challange my reigning title as
Master. She rings the back doorbell when she wants to come in from the cold. She places her head on my lap when she's really serious about going outside. She can untangle her own leash when it gets wrapped around a tree or bush. Every trick she's every learned has been mastered in a matter of minutes rather than hours. She comes when I call her. Sits when I tell her to. And basically obeys my every command without overtly arguing. Overtly being the key word there.
Over the years I've noticed that she systematically seek out her limits and attempts to stretch them a little bit every day. She's a very smart dog and has a very independent mind. She knows what she wants and she knows what I want, and she cleverly feels that she can
change my mind when those two desires come into conflict.
For example, when she starts making a nuisance of herself, I usually will call her over and make her lay down near me. She knows that I don't give her table scraps, drop much food, and am not easily swayed by her begging. Therefore, she prefers to sit in a more opporuntistic location.
In the past when I would give her the "Lay Down!" command, she would lay down in a place relatively near where the command was given. Inch-by-inch she began to lay further and further away, to the point where I would give her the command to lay down and instead of laying down near me, she would find her own pawed-picked location to lay down.
I mistakenly tolerated this behavior and sure enough, it eventually led to her "pretending" to find a place to lay, but then carrying on with the action that got her in trouble in the first place. Now, each time I tell her to lay down, she attempts to enforce the "precedent" of me letting her choose the place to lay down. This requires me to repeat the command and direct her to sit next to me, which she will do until she has sensed I've lost interest. Then, she will get up and go back to whatever it was she was doing.
I've succeeded in training her to listen to me, but not to behave well around others. The "method" I used was more of no-nonsense approach. Loud, deep-voiced commands followed up with swift correction or praise. I guess it figures, ...all I really trained her to do was listen to
, but that's all I knew.
I Almost Forgot
We've all been saddened by the void in our lives caused by the seemingly permanent disappearance of the Gweilodiaries. Conrad is missing and more importantly, so are all of his Asian boobie pictures.
Bravely into the void steps
Yobbo.
Thank you Yobbo. As you can see, he's
off to a
great start.
Our Fate
Well, we know Shermbutt's fate. They'll be ripping the GM stripes off his lapel in a public ceremony at 3:30 today.
Huzzah
Here's some scuttlebut I heard over the last 12 hours:
Favre Not Happy with Offense
The Big Unit on 620 talked at length last night about a lot of frustration and hard-feelings on the OFFENSIVE side of the ball. This frustration comes from Favre himself and other offensive players.
He would not elaborate too much for fear of identifying his source, but he did say that his info came from more than one Packer player.
Apparantly, the playcalling and offensive gameplanning are the biggest problems. Favre isn't happy. They aren't allowed to do some things they think they should be doing. They aren't satisfied that the offensive gameplan is sufficiently thought out.
It's clear that the players do not always feel properly prepared to play.
Add this to the fact that the defensive players obviously were not prepared, and you have grounds for the immediate firing and caning of Shermbutt.
This information was amazing to me, because we had always been led to believe that Favre was a Shermbutt backer. I guess not.
Favre Likely to Retire
At least part of the reason Favre is heavily considering retirement is because of the coaching, and the Big Unit believes Favre will likely retire. There are three things that are pushing Favre in that direction:
1. His family. Breanna is puking and losing her hair, going through Kemo. The oldest daughter lives in Mississippi and goes to school, so he doesn't get to see her. The youngest daughter wants Favre to be home.
2. The defense. Favre vocally complained about the defense after the Vikings game. He doesn't vocally complain to the media very often, so you know it's a big deal.
3. The offense. An area that we all thought was a non-issue after Rossley had one too many Krispy Kremes.
Shermbutt Pissed About Demotion
Also, on the Green Bay Grapevine this morning, Mark Daniels said he saw Shermbutt's daughter last night and asked her what the mood was around the house. The mood is not good. Shermbutt is mad about the demotion, and it accepting it VERY reluctantly.
Slowik Almost Certainly Gone
Some or all of the defensive staff will be gone as well. Suprisingly, it appears that little Schottenheimer might survive the cull.
Letter to Bob Harlan
This letter was faxed today, Monday, January 10, 2005, to Bob Harlan, President of the Green Bay Packer organization.
Mr. Harlan,
I know that with every tough loss you must hear from irate fans offering criticism, and complaints. I won’t offer any of those things in this note, but I will quickly lay out my three strongest reasons for why Mike Sherman should not continue as head coach and general manager.
1.
We should reasonably expect that every coach and every team, no matter how talented, will experience a complete disaster of a game from time to time. It even happened to the Green Bay Packers in 1996 (in Kansas City) and 1997 (in Indianapolis). In games like these, you have a collapse of both the offense and defense where everything seemingly goes horribly wrong. As fans, we need to understand that. However, I do not think that a good team or a good coach experiences games like this routinely 2-3 times a year. This year we had collapses against Tennesse, Philadelphia, and yesterday against the Vikings. Last year, we had collapses at Detroit and at Arizona. In the previous year we had collapses at the NY Jets, at Tampa Bay, and at home against the Falcons. In 2001 we had collapses at Minnesota and at the St. Louis Rams. That’s 10 collapses in four years.
These complete collapses simply do not occur this regularly to good teams or good coaches. Mike Sherman has not been able to figure out how to prevent his team from suffering these collapses. And, worse yet, he has not figured out how to stop the bleeding once these games are underway. Watching the game this weekend was like watching a heart-breaking re-run of all the games I mentioned above.
2.
Mike Sherman has not put together a strong staff and has not corrected problems that are obvious. He fired Ed Donatell and hired Mike Slowik. The result? The Packers have the worst defense in the NFL. Now I know that they are not the worst defense statistically, but this is the worst defense I’ve seen in my 34 years of watching pro and college football. I’m sure you’re aware of the great number of defensive coordinators who were let go this past year. Sherman’s decision to hire Slowik stands out as possibly the worst personnel decision made in the entire NFL in 2004. It is in this decision that you can directly compare his performance to other teams that changed their defensive coordinators. The results speak for themselves.
Many fans and sports commentators have been calling for Tom Rossley to be replaced for several years now. Brett Favre himself had uncharacteristically voiced his disapproval of Rossley’s play calling. Sherman either did not see that there was a problem, or did not want to admit it. If not for Rossley’s unfortunate heart attack, Sherman would have never replaced Rossley and would still be defending him to this very day. We all saw the positive impact on the offense once Rossley’s play calling duties were relieved due to his health condition.
Do you remember when the Packers special teams performed poorly under Mike Holmgren? Holmgren realized it was a problem and personally took over the special teams coaching duties. He put everyone on notice that poor performance and mistakes would not be tolerated. Mike Sherman has had poor special teams play each year that he’s been here. He’s done NOTHING about it.
3.
Finally, Mike Sherman is a poor judge of talent. I’m sure you are aware that Chris Gamble was available in the draft when Sherman picked Ahmad Carroll. Imagine how different the defense would have been with a steady corner opposite Al Harris. He has drafted only 2 starters in the 3 years he’s been in sole control of the draft. In fact, he’s only drafted 2 starters out of the past 4 drafts. The only successful draft was in 2000, a draft he had very little to do with.
The Tim Couch and BJ Sander debacles came at a time when the defense desperately needed help on the line and in the defensive backfield. His meager attempts to address those areas through the draft and free agency have failed.
Finally, I would like to say that yesterday was the first time I ever turned off a Packer game before the end. We used to have access to season tickets at County Stadium. I went to countless games in the 70’s and 80’s, never leaving until the end. I’ve watched every game, never walking away from the TV in disgust, no matter how poorly we did. But yesterday I simply couldn’t bare to watch the same scenario play out again under Sherman’s watch. A bad, repeating nightmare. Please put an end to it.
Thank you for your time,
**Signature**
A Weird Week
No one really knows what to think about this week's Cheese-PurpleQueens rematch. It's been really quiet and rather eerie. No real news out of Murderapolis or Lombardi Avenue.
The closest thing to news was Randy "I make Chris Carter look like a team player" Moss spilling his guts to ESPN. The "official" word out of the locker room is that everyone is "past" the incident and it's now only a media-fueled controversy. I don't think even they believe it.
Still, it could be enough for them to unite under for 3 hours on Sunday. That's all they really need to "save" their season.
Folks seems a bit nervous in these parts. We all know that our defence sucks, and that we were just one play away from losing both of those games. One fluke, one drop, one penalty away.
The teams are so close in so many ways. I think everyone agrees that if the Vikings had any character, toughness, or intelligence that their offence would overwhelm the Packers.
But Vikings are deficient in all those categories and the Packers are not.
It all depends on who shows up to play. If the Vikes dig deep and look at this game as a chance at redemption, they could easily overtake the Packers. If they collapse in a disspirited heap, ...Packers by 2 scores. If they each play up to their normal abilities, ...Packers by 3 as the clock runs out.
I honestly have no idea what will happen.
Could the Packers come out tight and blow it like they did against Atlanta two years ago? Sure. Could the Packers whomp on the Vikings and put them away early? Sure.
My uneducated, probably incorrect guess is that BOTH teams will play poorly. The Packers will be unnerved by having to play the Vikings AGAIN. The Vikes will be expecting to lose somehow. I'd guess that Packer mistakes will give a short burst of life to the drooping Vikes. The Packers will be thinking "not again". It might be enough to steal the game.
We all know there is no football God, and that fact could be confirmed if the Vikes beat the Packers. If there is any team ever in the history of carbon-based life that deserves to lose, it's the 2004 Vikings.
But the world doesn't work that way. The Packers have to beat the Vikings, ...again. And my confidence level on that question is mighty low.
However, because I think it's possible for the Packers to not only win, but get up on the Vikes early and put them away, I'm going to roll the dice and predict a Packer victory.
Chesse nip bitches, 27-20.
I guess this isn't too far off ...
I AM 52% ASSHOLE/BITCH!  I am abrasive, some people really hate me, but there may be a group of other tight knit assholes and bitches that I can hang out with and get me. Everybody else? Fuck ‘em. |
Seems a bit high to me ...
I AM 25% WHITE TRASH!  The white trash in my blood will not keep me from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep me from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense. |
13 Days
For the next 13 days my life will be normal, comfortable, ...the easy level with unlimited ammo. Then my wife and baby will board a plane for Japan without me. No, they are not leaving me. But it is the first time in her short life that I won’t be able to see my daughter, or hold her or talk to her or make her giggle, ...you get the idea.
Family gone, me sad.
I’ll be catching up with them in Japan 12 days later, staying for a week, then we’re all coming home together, …but the time away is really bothering me and weighing on me. I alternatively obsess about it and try not to think about it. I have yet to contemplate what I will do with myself while they are gone. Looking at my calendar now, those empty white squares look bottomless.
Family gone, me selfish.
I easily forget that the wife has left behind her entire family for me. I know she can deal with her mother and father being far away, but she’s very close to her sister. I see how much my sister adores my daughter, and I do realize that my wife’s sister has yet to even meet my daughter. And I know that must be difficult, ...but that didn’t stop me from trying to shorten her trip.
The other part of this is that she is using a big wad o’ yen for this trip. The stereotype about Japanese dwellings being the approximate size of American cubicles is true, at least as far as her family goes. All of their homes too small to house 3 guests, therefore we need to get hotel rooms for the entire trip. Not to mention that we’re buying an extra seat on the plane for my daughter because my wife is flying there alone, ...let’s just say that I could buy the flat panel, wide screen, 46” DLP HDTV of my dreams for the price of this trip (and don’t think I don’t have one picked out). And guess what? I get to pay for this trip once a year for the rest of my life!
Selfish selfish selfish
During their absence, I’ll be heading out to San Diego for our annual week-long, company-wide, team-building, waste-of-time-and-money thing. Although, I think this will be the last year we’re expected to leave on 3 weeks notice, live in a hotel room not entirely funded by the company, have no transportation to leave the secluded hotel unless we are lucky or rent a car at our own expense, and spend each morning, noon, and evening with our co-workers. Yes, they even plan pointless events for the evening, preventing us from maybe going out and enjoying ourselves. And the catered food. Don’t get me started on the food. Let’s just say that I didn’t know chicken could be so dry as to actually suck all the moisture out of a human being upon being touched.
But, it’s only a week out of my life that I could spend doing other things, ...y’know, like actually getting some WORK done.
Like
last year, I’m heading out to Japan straight from the conference. Instead of taking the
red-eye back to O’hare and leaving from there, I’m taking the little Buddy-Holly-killing-plane from SD to LA, then on to Japan.
In an NFL sense, the timing works out great. I’ll watch Pittsburgh and Philly advance to Superbowl while packing on the 23rd, then be back in town to see the big game. I missed it last year, ...I was actually
getting married at the time.
