Twas Two Days Before Christmas
I've been busy decomposing in front of the tube, eating Christmas cookies, playing with my daughter's new toys, watching The Seven Days of 007 on Spike, and watching countless bowl games.
Laziness has a compounding effect. Hense, no posts.
The only thing post-worthy in the past week-or-so was the sweet, sweet, sweetness of the Christmas eve victory over the bitchqueens. It was good to win, good to own the division, ...but what made it sweeter than chocolate covered almond cookies was crushing the Christmas hopes of all Viking players and fans everywhere. No redemption for you.
So, last week Wednesday I was typing away at work, minding my own business when I get a call from the wife.
"Hello?"
"Hi. WND is GONE. She got away!"
"What?"
"She's gone. I put her out in back for about an hour, but when I went to get her, she was gone."
"Did she break the leash?"
"Yes."
"Which direction did she go?"
"It looks like she went into the alley."
3 seconds later I was on the freeway, speeding for home. We live a few blocks away from a very busy street. Also, the street that borders us to the North is well traveled, and I don't mean it's the boulevard to conformity, it's just a long strech of road with only one stoplight, and therefore quite popular.
Anyway, I could just picture the worst. Days before my first Christmas with a new wife, a new child, a new house, ...and my beloved dog gets crushed on the street.
As you know, WND is very smart, but also very, very dumb. She would walk out in front of moving car without hesitation.
When you are panicked and hurried and desperate, you start to realise how open the freeway really is. You aren't confined by lanes, two-second-cushions, or speed limits. I tailgated, swerved across three lanes, used the shoulder, leaned on my horn, all the time sweating, swearing, and assuming the worst. My only goal was to get home as fast as possible and save my dog.
I thought a lot about how I came to meet and adopt WND. I thought about what my life was like back then. This was before I stepped back into a world of social interaction, before I came out of musical retirement, before I moved back to Milwaukee.
I was still living in San Diego, still licking the wounds from my last affair. I deliberately lived in near isolation. Speaking only to co-workers about work or where to get lunch. From Friday at 5pm to Monday at 9am, I would often not speak to another human being.
I thought a lot back then. Meditated. Learned to paint. Wrote. It was a vacation from the world. It was comfortable. I liked it. But there was always the other side of me that dreaded this life. That side could usually be subdued by turning off my brain with a movie, video game, book, or TV show.
But on Saturdays, when nothing good was on, when the hours until Monday looked more like a sentence than a vacation, the other side of me would wake up. I was filled with dread on Saturdays. I hated them. As time went on, no amount of distraction could overcome this feeling.
My lease was coming due at about this time, so I decided to spend my Saturday's looking for a new apartment where I could have a dog, and also to look for said dog.
Each Saturday I'd drive up and down the coast, filling out applications, picking up community newspapers, and visiting animal shelters. In the same week that I was accepted as a tenant in a small house about 8 blocks from the ocean, just on the border of a lower-middle class neighborhood and a slum, I met the WND.
She was skinny as a rail, frightened, and confused. Her black fur was dull with grime and dust, her shaggy mane hadn't been brushed in ages. She was a stray at the North County Animal shelter. Her run was a tall, dark, cement hallway with large metal bars at each end. When I walked up to her run, she came towards me briefly, then scampered away into the shadows.
I knelt down and called her over, and she came. Slowly.
One of the metal bars was bent, providing enough room for her to stick her nose through. She sniffed me, then licked, then put a paw through and placed in on my knee. I now know that this was her way of pleading with me. She wanted out.
She was obviously tired, and soon laid down on the other side of the metal bars. But she kept her paw out, touching my knee. I gave her a treat, walked over to the administrative trailer and put in my name to adopt her.
They told me they had picked her up only recently. She was wearing a dog tag with a phone number on it, but the number was out of service. Also, her tall pointy ears had been damaged. She suffered from fly strike, which is what happens when flies eat away at sores on a dog's ears. They keep eating away at the hair and skin and flesh until the dog gets sick and dies, or get's treatment.
To this day the tips of her ears are in the shape of a V.
Anyway, the shelter told me that I could not take her unless her owners failed to pick her up. I had to wait the alotted number of days. So, each day I visited her on my lunch. I'd pet her, give her a treat, and sit with her. I prayed that her neglegent owners would not show up.
I finally got the call shortly after labor day of 2000, she was mine. I had been avoiding calling back the landlord for the house near the slum, ...but I needed a place that would accept a dog, so I took it.
I've always credited her as the reason for my first steps back into the real world. Weekends were now spent taking her to the beach, watching the sun set, going for jogs, visiting parks, cleaning up her trail of destruction ...
I needed a little craziness added to my life, and she certainly brought that. Often I would come home to find bookcases tipped over and tables moved. Once she even knocked down the bird cage and tore apart the bird cage lining, speading bird crap and bird food all over the house.
But she got used to me and I got used to her. She's been with me every day since then, and no matter how bad she can be, she owns a huge piece of my heart.
That really hit home as a careened through the city last week, desperately trying to get home. I was convinced that it was all going to end, that I'd find her ont he side of the road. The 25 minute drive home was narrowed to 15. An accomplishment considering the heavy, drive-time/Christmas traffic.
It was bitter cold that day. I called the shelter and put in a report on her, put on my thickest winter parka, and bundled myself up for an all night seach. I was completely prepared to walk the streets until I found her. I walked out the back door and started tracking her paw prints in the snow.
I had spent about 6 seconds trying to figure out which direction she went when she came trotting out of a neighbor's yard across the alley, one house south of mine. She was literally 100 feet away, completely oblivious.
After a scolding and a hug, we went out and got a new leash and new tags for her collar at the pet store. I could tell this was a great day for her. An unleashed romp in the neighbor's yard and a trip to the pet store where she could sniff dog butts and steal treats from the bin. She often gets ignored because of the baby, and rarely gets to go anywhere with me. We used to go for weekly walks, but now she's lucky if she goes once a month. I vowed to pay more attention to her in the coming year.
So, it was a happy ending and a happy Christmas in my house. Everyone accounted for. Everyone safe.
Everyone together.
As it should always be.
MAFIA 2!
I've finally found some info on the fate of the most complete video game I've ever played, Mafia: The City of Lost Heaven.
Oddly, the article is dated September 11, 2004, but I it never showed up in my searches until today. It seems that the greater Mafia community discovered the article sometime in early December. I did my last search for information before Thanksgiving.
Anyway,
here is the article.
Most important lines in the article:
TVG: You are very much into the ‘action’ genre. Firstly, do you intend to stick within this area and can we expect to see further additions in the Hidden and Dangerous and possibly Mafia branding?
PV: Yes, we will do only action games in the future, but with all touches of strategy, tactics, adventure, and simulation. And yes, great games deserve sequels and we are working on something.
...
TVG: Could you tell us briefly what games are currently in development at your 5 studios?
PV: Yes, the next Vietcong game is well into production, something with Mafia (I can’t tell what), and one game for the new publisher (will be announced within a few months) and 2 unsigned games. All more or less action genres, but exceptional quality and very strong story lines!
...
TVG: What does the Take2/Gathering exclusive agreement mean for gamers in terms of the next 2 years?
PV: Our agreement with Take2 is finished, we signed our last project with them, this will be released during next 2 years (2 games only), but we have already signed with another major publisher and we are developing 2 unsigned games. We are currently discussing with a few publishers.
He's obviously being very vague here. He's not promising a sequel, but he's promising (although that may be too strong a word) "something". To me, this suggests an expansion pack, possibly with multiplayer capabilities.
Anything is better than nothing. Keep it alive boys, just keep it alive. If the expansion does well, ...who knows? A real sequel could still be a possibility.
The bad news in the article: they are focusing on console games, not PC games. This likely means that Mafia 2 may be less elegant than the original, but beggars can't be choosers.
On another note, all those long hours at EA games must be paying off. Perhaps seeing an obvious opening in the market, EA
has announced a game based on the Godfather movies.
Almost nothing is known about the game yet. Hopefully the developers played and loved Mafia.
It Wasn't Slowik's Fault
The putrid play of the Packer defense was not the fault of Bob Slowik. In fact, most folks are giving him accolades for the way he adjusted the defense in the second half to shut down Moss and Burleson.
There are some serious personnel issues on the defense. There are several players that I think are keepers, the rest can go. The keepers?
Darren Sharper
Al Harris
Grady Jackson
Nick Barnett
Nail Diggs
Cullen Jenkins
Everyone else can be replaced, including Slowik.
I think the Packers should drive real hard to pick up
this guy in the off season as defensive coordinator.
Illness, Christmas, and Football ...Better Together?
Last week the wife reeled in a stinging-bad sore throat, headache, cough, sneezing, lose-your-voice type of thing. Next, the baby got a bit of it, coughing for a few days, but we successfully sequestered her from my wife's busy-body germs. Crisis averted.
Somehow I managed to walk through the haze of germs unscarred. But if life has taught me anything, it's taught that eventually, I'll get mine. No matter how good my life gets, a stomach punch can't be too far off.
So I was not surprised when I started having a few symptoms as last weekend approached. I thought for sure I would be sick all weekend, getting better just in time to enter my sensory deprivation cubicle at work on Monday morning. But, surprisingly, I got better.
Then, Sunday night I started feeling sick again. Would I be sick all week, getting better just in time for Christmas? I actually would have preferred this. Like a mini-vacation before my mini-vacation. It would be hassle as far as work was concerned, but a nice break overall. But no, I woke up Monday morning feeling fine as a lemming, ...and off to work I went.
Today. 1-ish. Here comes the soreness in my throat. Here comes the disorientation in my head. Here comes the shivers, the desire to cough up phlem.
Just in time for Christmas!
I'm supposed to tip some pints with the lads on Thursday night, but that may be in jeopardy if my immune system continues to defend like a Slowik defense. Hopefully the virus is of the Harrington strain and not the McNabb strain.
Which brings me to my homelife. The wife has decided to learn about football.
They don't really have much football in Japan. They do have a league, and I guess some high schools and colleges play the sport, but it's less understood than soccer or pit toilets here in the states.
I never really realized how tricky the game is. Try explaining scoring to someone who gives you a blank look when you say things like: endzone, sideline, pylon, goalposts, "go for two", etc.
The first thing she tried to understand about the game was the downs.
She only understood the word "down" as a directional word. It made no sense when I said, for example: "There are four downs. You have to go 10 yards within those four downs or you have to kick. Actually, you have to kick on fourth down, so you only have 3 downs. If you go ten yards, then you get another first down."
This was really hard for her to grasp. I think once she stripped the word "down" of any meaning, she did ok. The hard part was understanding that you go back to 1st down if you get the 10 yards. She thought you should go to 2nd down, since it's your second series of downs.
The other hard part to understand was the scoring. She kept confusing field goals with extra points, ...and then when she saw someone go for two, she was really confused. But she's got that part down now. Watching last night's game she saw that Miami was down by 11 when New England scored their last TD.
I told her we should go to bed because the game is over.
"But there are five minutes left!"
"Yeah, but it's over."
"But they just need a touchdown, a 2-point, and a field goal. Two scores."
"It ain't gonna happen because Miami sucks, but we can watch."
And watch we did as Miami promptly scored, missed the 2-point conversion, got the ball back on an INT, and completed a 4th down fade into the endzone with 1:20 left on the clock.
"Now the other team just needs to get close enough for a field goal. They have time," she said. Yep. That's my girl.
She's now trying to understand possession, when a call can be challenged, penalties, and ball control strategy. These are more difficult to explain. But it's worth it to have this conversation.
Her: Are you going to watch tv now?
Me: Uh, no. I got some more studying to do.
Her: There's a game on tonight, right?
Me: Um, yeah.
Her: Ok, I'll be in the living room watching the game.
I Needed Something In-Between the Swearing and the Chrismas Post ...
You Were Nice This Year! |
You're an uber-perfect person who is on the top of Santa's list.
You probably didn't even *think* any naughty thoughts this year.
Unless you're a Mormon, you've probably been a little too good.
Is that extra candy cane worth being a sweetheart for 365 days straight?
|
Donovan Darius is a cheap-ass bitch and so is Jack Del Lie-o
Jack Del Rio is a known liar, ...lying to the press and the public about his QB's injuries earlier in the year. So, we knew he wasn't gonna be on Santa's "Good" list, but just how far down the "Bad" list will he go?
After being caught on camera laughing while Fergie lay injured on the field, unable to feel his own legs, you'd think captain Jack would try to 'say all the right things' in the post-game press conference.
But no, he decided to play dumb instead of taking the tough and honest road of admitting that his player blatantly and violently made an illegal hit against a defenseless receiver, running the risk of paralyzing him or ending his life. Amazingly, Del Rio said after the game that he had not seen the play because he was "watching the pass rush."
Ahem.
The pass rush ends when the ball is thrown.
So, he was looking at a bunch of linemen standing around scratching their asses instead of watching the play develop downfield in the final minutes of a must-win game with a hall of fame QB guiding him team into position to steal the game?
Also, somehow Del Rio managed to miss the replay of the hit as it appeared on the jumbo-tron again and again.
So, a day later what does Del Rio say?
"It was a nasty shot but I don't believe his intent was to headhunt the guy."
Despite overwhelming visual evidence to the contrary.
"He plays a physical brand of football, but he plays within the rules. He did not go helmet to helmet. He did not project himself or launch himself into the guy. He attempted to club at the football and ended up clubbing the guy in the head. It should be flagged and it was. I'm sure it will be fined and it should be."
Nice try asshole. Helmet-to-helmet is not the sole qualification of an illegal hit, so that part is just irrelevant.
Furthermore, the rest of his statement does not make sense given the visual evidence. Darius stuck his left arm out straight, crooked his arm at the elbow, and swung his arm parallel to the ground through Fergie's head. That's a clothesline.
At no time was his arm in position to hit the ball. At no time was his arm moving in a direction (up or down) that would dislodge a ball.
This was a savage, evil hit, and Del Rio's only concern seems to be that his player is not suspended, giving him a better chance of reaching the post season.
What's so hard about admitting the obvious? What's so hard about calling out your bitch of player? What's so hard about showing some integrity?
We've now seen what he's made of as a man. And it ain't much.
He's a pile of shit. Not much better than his lying bitch of a safety, Donovan Darius.
Team Effort
As hard as I tried to find a scapegoat that I could focus on, I have to admit that
this week's game was a true team effort. Had any aspect of the team, Offense, Defense, Special Teams, or Coaching simply done a more competant job, we would have won (please notice that I am lowering my expectations to "more competant" from "competant").
Each week the defense decides not to cover one particular opposition receiver. Some weeks, they make it easy on us and just decide not to cover anybody, ...but most weeks they are more discriminating. This week's lucky player was Jimmy Smith. This, of course, was a problem, ...but they made up for it by scarcely laying a finger on Fred Taylor.
Being out of position is an epidemic on this team, ...much like being offsides and grabbing receivers down the field.
But let's not spare the offense. Five turnovers, four of them UNFORCED. Two of them in the ENDZONE.
Ryan Longwell misses a field goal in the first half, ...and we end up losing by 3.
If I had to pick a single play that probably changed the game, it was Favre's inexplicable int in the endzone in the 3rd quarter.
The Jags went on to score 14 unanswered and the Packers looked out of sorts for the remainder of the game.
This game was easily winable. The game was won and lost in-between the ears of the players and coaches.
When mistakes go uncorrected for weeks at a time, ...something is wrong with the coaching. The Packers looked EXACTLY like the Packers from week 2 this year. That's when they lost to the Bears at Lambeau. That was September 19th. Exactly 3 months ago.
No improvement in 3 months. Same problems, same mistakes, same result.
Same coaches.
You do the math.
Tonight
Well, tonight is the Apprentice finale'.
I've long been in Kelley's corner, but you never know what's going to happen. Based on what we've seen during the final task, both candidates have strikes against them.
Jennifer's negatives:
No business experience.
Did not meet face-to-face with the NBA execs.
Seemed lost and had little or no plan for making sure the charity's executives would find their seats.
Left bad impression with charity executives.
Kelley's negatives:
Picked a disloyal staff.
Let his staff run off on him.
Got too excited and lost respect from his staff by telling them that he "loved them".
Annoyed his staff by trying to do their work for him.
Kelley got higher praise from the executive interviews than did Jennifer, but Trump is still intrigued by Jennifer. She's tough. He likes that.
Either candidate could win. I'm sticking with Kelley. He's the safest, and probably the best choice. Regardless of how he does on the task.
Amazing Revelations
Tom Silverstein
has an article today looking at how
SLOWik is using Nick Barnett. In the process, he gets a good glimpse at the overall blitzing scheme for the defense. The article is filled with some amazing revelations:
- Barnett has blitzed
97 times this season. He has
2 sacks.
-
A lot of the time, he'll (SLOWik) send one or two linebackers at the quarterback, but drop a defensive lineman into coverage, making it more of a token blitz than anything. The Packers aren't trying to overpopulate the line of scrimmage as much as cause confusion for the offensive line and quarterback.
-
"A lot of times, I?m (Barnett) a middle linebacker, I don't really get free on a lot of blitzes," Barnett said. "You have to think about that. I'm blitzing through the middle and the only time I ever get free is when the offense messes up and doesn't count me.
...
But if I'm hitting the center and then hitting the guard. . . that happens a lot. Usually I'm just the guy who takes on the lineman."
-
"I don't think we?ve gotten home to the degree that I would like us to," Sherman said. Gee, ...you think?
Anyone with eyes can see that the Packers blitz up the middle, the blitz gets stuffed at the line, and the opposition gets a big play. If you drop a D-lineman and bring in a linebacker at the same position, how are you fooling anyone? Obviously, you aren't.
The defensive scheme is a failure, and
SLOWik is in way over his head. When is Shermbutt gonna demand some accountability?
I'd ask the same question of Harlan, but he's already stated that he's sticking his thumb up his ass until the end of the season. Shermbutt's contract is up next year and he is pushing for an extension. I don't think they will let the contract run into it's final year, as that would be a sign of no confidence. Either Shermbutt will be gone this year or he'll get his extension.
My guess is that Harlan will elect to prolong our pain, and yet the team become a faint echo of what it once was.
World's Worst Parents
Gee,
smiley faces and withheld allowances didn't work?
The Stink on the Cheese
After the second annual "Puking at Philly", the defensive backs got defensive, for once, and blabbed to the media about how they don't like playing zone, about how they practiced man-to-man all week, and how the game plan was changed at the last minute without them knowing.
Now, Shermbutt and
SLOWik came out in their team meeting and told the DBs that they are expected to execute whatever scheme
SLOWik dials up. It's also been noted that the DBs failed in man-to-man coverage as well.
It really is a mystery what's going on. What's worse, is that the players and coaches appear to be just as mystified as the rest of us. No one knows what's going on, and no one knows how to fix it.
That's the company line right now. Imagine that.
For those of you who haven't been paying attention, this is BAD NEWS.
There has been growing dissatisfaction amongst the DBs and Sherbutt going back to last year. Also, the O-line was pissed at Shermbutt after the initial "Puking at Philly". I think he has created enough animosity that anything other than a great season will bring it bubbling to the surface. And this is anything but a great season.
I think it's past time for a change. This is all Shermbutt's fault.
The defensive coaches, he hired them.
The bad players, he drafted them.
The holes in the defense, he didn't fill them.
The animosity, he created it.
If he had any interest in fixing it properly, he would dump
SLOWik now and promote Ray Sherman. Ray would get an immediate honeymoon period, the players LOVE him, and they would go out and get the job done. This won't last forever, but there are only 4 games left in the season. A stunt like this could work, and it could be beneficial in the long run if Ray works out.
Don't look for this to happen any time soon.
And go ahead and make plans for January, ...you won't have anything to do on Sundays.
More Reflections
Last year after the coaching fiasco at Philly in the second round of the playoffs, I went through a minor crisis of the heart. In the weeks and months after that loss I replayed it in my head over and over.
It was like the 1997 Super Bowl. So close.
It got to the point where I didn't know if I could go on like this anymore. The anger I feel after a loss, the misery, the anguish, the constant replay in my head. I just didn't know if I could carry. I started to think I would actually be happier if I never watched another game.
Can I keep going through this? For seven months out of the year, there is weekly if not daily Packer news. For most of those months I am either up or down depending on how Green Bay played that week.
Can I really carry this burden with me for the rest of my life?
Well, the months between February and July are curative. When the first preseason game came on August 16th and I was taping it so I could review it later, I knew that I was back in the saddle.
However, I don't think I can take another year of Sherman.
Durring each game the announcers openly question what the hell Bob Slowik is thinking. The
Journal today recounts how a scout for the Redskins was "stunned" at some of the decision made by Slowik.
If you can recall the 2002 and 2003 (and even 2004) seasons, there were a few times in each season where Sherman should have the reg flag to challenge a bad call, but didn't. It demonstrated how disorganized his operation seemed to be that he couldn't look at the replay (or have an assistant do it), make a judgement about it (like the 2 million people who watched the game on TV did), and toss the stupid red flag.
It happened again on Sunday. Philly intercepts Favre on the Philly 10 yard line. The defender is bobbling the ball and gains control of the ball as he rolls onto his back. However, the ball touched the ground before that. He did not have possession, the ball touches the ground, and after that, he gains possession.
That is not a catch. It should have been overturned. But the replay booth never had a chance because Sherman, once again, was asleep. This time, it took at least 3 and maybe 7 points off the board for the Pack. The Eagles scored on the ensuing drive. That's a potential 14 point swing.
And do I need to bring up the part about Sherman wasting time, effort, and money on getting new backup QBs (when the one he already had was the best candidate), two punters, and undersized, late-round DBs? All this while failing to upgrade the defensive line or the secondary.
Obviously, I want Sherman out. Who should replace him? You don't really know who you could get right now. I'd love for Holmgren to come back, but that seems too improbable.
Is there anything good to report from Titletown? Yes, the reaction of the players seems good. They are pissed, embarassed, and almost defiant. Either they are going to get a sick wake up call next week against Detroit, or they will destroy the Lions.
This is Fucking Shit
You could tell right away that this was going to be one of those total disaster games where the coaches make idiotic decisions, Favre throws dumb pass after dumb pass, the refs make up calls against the Packers and ignore penalties against the opposition, penalty flags rain down, and general incompetance insues.
The Packers had their chances to be in this game early. And they systematically fucked them up.
Eagle receivers running around completely uncovered, nobody tackling, no coverage on kicks ...just a total and complete mess.
There aren't words strong enough, big enough, loud enough, abrasive enough to capture even half of this misery.
And this is nothing new. It happens EVERY YEAR. It's already happened this year several times.
They go off the track early and no one tries to correct it. It just gets worse and worse and worse.
It's 35 to nothing now.
How many times a year does a good coach have games like this?
The answer is that a good coach might have a game like this every few years. Maybe once a year. Should it happen 2-3 times every year?
Every god-damned fucking year?!??
Poor Ivana
I didn't like
Ivana at first, but she grew on me. She isn't qualified to head one of Trump's companies, but seems to be a very valuable team player. So, it was too bad to see her go, because I really liked her. And not just in the sense that I'd like to plow her boulevard, but she was one of the few people that I could root for.
I've thought for a long time that Kelley was by far the best. Bradford would have given him a run for his money, but he got knocked out early. In fact, a lot of the better people were knocked out early.
Two will be fired next week, can't wait.
