10 days
I worry about a lot of things in advance so that I do not have to worry about them when they happen. This is immensely helpful when dealing with predictable events (dates, interviews), and even predictable but unavoidable events (death).So, I'm pretty good at these situations because I have time to think, plan, prepare, script ...it's the spontaneous events that bring me true distress.
In 10 days I'll be flying to the other side of the world to spend a week with my girlfriend and her family.
For an introvert who has never been further from the US than Toronto, who avoids conversations and social interaction, and who needs a predictable routine to keep his stomach and mind intact, ...it's going to be a challenge.
Now, I know that most people will/do/are rolling their eyes at this, but they have never dealt with it (it being social anxiety disease). It's not that bad in me, but it is still there. Some get it so bad it paralyzes their life, others, like me and Ricky Williams just look weird, odd, and awkward to others. We're seen as distant, too quiet, too introverted, and reclusive.
In actuality, we're struggling just to keep from running away, from abandoning all the stress of social interaction and retreating into fortresses of solitude. Remember when Ricky Williams gave his first NFL interviews while still wearing his football helmet? Everyone, including me, thought he was just a head case. Well, now we know why, and so does he. He's learned about the condition, and like me, has sought out ways to tough it out and overcome it.
Still, it is limiting, and living with it for 30+ years (most of those years not knowing what was wrong with me) causes you to develop a personality heavily tilted inward rather than outward. And there is really no curing that. We are who we are.
So, yes, this trip has me a bit stressed, but I should be ok. The first step is convincing my mind and emotions that the trip is booked and that no matter how bad I feel, I have to go. I don't have a choice. Once I can blackmail myself that way, it gets a little easier.
Preparation is the next step. For the next 10 days I will take a Tagamet every night regardless of how I feel. My recipe for a calm stomach while on vacation is 1 Tagamet in the morning, 1 swig of Pepto before going out on the town. Works like a charm. (And yes, for those of you who've seen American Splendor, I realize the similarities and laughed especially hard at that moment).
Still, dinner at her father's house sounds quite tedious. None of them speak English except her. I'll have to eat and drink (her father likes Whiskey), and I know that failing to finish all your food is somewhat of an insult to them. Well, when my stomach feels shaky, I can't eat anything at all! If I could make money by leaving food on my plate, I'd be rich enough to hire Bill Gates to scrape the bubblegum off of my shoes. So this will be interesting.
Right now I'm not thinking about that too much. I'm thinking about visiting the Basho museum (the freaking Basho museum!!!) the Imperial Palace (I didn't know they still have an figurehead emperor, duh), some revisionist WWII museums, the sex shops in Roppongi, the millions of hot girls, and of course, my girlfriend.
From now until the day I leave, I'll spend the moments before falling asleep making lists, plans, and preparations. The trip will be like clockwork, with me working out details to the nearest minute. It's the only way for me to avoid stressing too much. You know, idle minds ...
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