Unraveling (A), raveling [m]
Before I get to my friend (A), let me tell you about [m].I went out with her in 2/02. She's a very cute blonde with shaggy hair, about 5"2', petite, smart, witty. What always puzzled me about her was her tendency to drift in and out of conversations. She would not lose interest or stop listening, it's like she was thinking about what you were saying and continuing the conversation in her head without letting you in on the discussion.
She first noticed me at a punk-rock basement party in Riverwest (Red Flag #1). Riverwest is like the West Bank of liberalism, partitioned by the various liberal factions. It's a cheap area to live given that it is the buffer between the college district, the hip, upscale east town (downtown) area, and the ghetto. Naturally, it is inhabited by those who left college at 28 with a graduate degree in Radical Feminist Theory, and therefore could not afford a home in the nicer neighborhoods near the university. It is also inhabited by punkers, goths, heroine addicts, thrifty liberal professionals, vegans, peacenicks, left over hippies, artists, and criminals. So, why was I at this party? Well, my former band was playing a show there despite my protests.
A few weeks later she approached me at a dance club in the same neighborhood. She said she liked the band, introduced herself, and said she'd see me at our next show (the next week). Cool. But she didn't show. No big deal. I see her again a month-or-so later on Christmas day-eve. We talk, I buy her a drink, but she is tight-lipped and disappears quickly. I think she was there with someone else. Fine.
A month later she comes to one of our shows with her roommate, flags me down, and asks me out. Alllright, whatever, "Cool. I'd love to." Red Flag #2: the closeness of her male roommate, ...we'll call him Juanski. He's about my age, my ethnicity, good-looking, apparently not gay, ...so why me and not him? Also, they used "we" an awful lot. Not as in "we love threesomes", but as in "we have spoken to the aliens, and as the chosen ones, we will welcome them when they land at Shea Stadium in 2017."
They were partners in some way. Teammates. But what was really strange, HE seemed to be the leader of their two person team. You would normally assume it is the girl who dominates in these relationships, but not this one.
Red Flag #3: Every moment of each her days is filled with an activity.
Red Flag #4: This "team" has more members. It seems her "friends" consist entirely of men, all of whom seem to have some sort of authority over her.
Red Flag #5: We make a date, but talk very little before the date. In fact, I wait until 9pm before I even hear from her. I began to wonder if the date was ever going to happen.
Red Flag #6: I pick her up, suddenly she's a mute. She has gone from talkative and energetic to slowmotion silence.
No matter, I work through it. At some point in the conversation I manage to crack through this fog and she is talkative, witty, funny, cheerful, and seems to be having a good time for the rest of the night.
Red Flag #7: We go to the Onopa (also in Riverwest) to see a friend's radical feminist cheerleading troupe. She seems to establish some sort of psychic connection to my friend (A). He's an imp. A fundamentalist attention seeker. A hummingbird. A former junkie, served time for armed robbery, guitar player for my band, and extremely good looking in a pre-adolescent way. She says of (A):
"He looks strung-out."
"Naw. He used to have a problem, but that's all in the past."
Red Flag #8: She receives calls from her male friends approximately every 2.4 minutes. They constantly want to make sure she is "okay".
We meet up with these friends (all men). I'm game. I'm not intimidated. They're mostly very friendly. When she says her goodbyes, she makes special eye-contact with one of them. A longer haired guy who talked with me briefly about the local music scene. I made a mental note about that.
The date lasts until 5am. Everything is great. I really like this chick, ...she's very smart, funny, outgoing, adventurous, if not a little weird. She seems to want a kiss at the end of the night, but I misread and back off. She calls unsolicited the next day, informs that the date was "wonderful", that I was fantastic to her, the dinner I cooked was "wonderful" and she really wanted to see me again.
Green light.
Next episode: Red light.
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